Bill Simmons: I’ll Eat Cow Testicles If The Raiders Make The Playoffs

As if Jon Gruden didn’t already have enough pressure on his return to the Raiders, the stakes were raised this week by national sports provocateur Bill Simmons.

Before Wednesday, the Raiders were needing to make the playoffs for the same reasons as everyone else. But now they need to make the playoffs so that Simmons will have to eat a testicle.

Yes, you read that right.

“If the Raiders make the playoffs, what’s the most disgusting thing I could eat,” Simmons said on his latest podcast. “You know what, I’ve always swore that I’ll never eat testicles. Those, like, the brains, you know, like cow testicles are a delicacy. I’ll eat testicles on the podcast. And they can be human testicles, cow testicles, I’ll eat some pair of testicles on this podcast if the Raiders make the playoffs. It will never happen.”

This is something that needs to happen.

Generally, the nature of the content you find in these parts isn’t of this variety, but after a devastating week where the Raiders traded away their most beloved player (other than Derek Carr), something was needed to lighten the mood.

Bull testicles will do the trick.

twitter: @raidersbeat


10 thoughts on “Bill Simmons: I’ll Eat Cow Testicles If The Raiders Make The Playoffs

  1. Cows dont have testicles you dumb bastard bulls have testicles and dont count out the raiders yet they haven’t played a down in the regular season

  2. Their cows they cut them off young so they won’t get bulky like a bull with the testosterone so we can eat

  3. I think you better try and find some testicles now and throw in the freezer, because they may be hard to find. Bull testicles are your best bet. I have no first hand info but I hear they are good when cooked right. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Raiders not only win their Div. but wind up in the super bowl. One player don’t make a team. GO RAIDERS!!!

  4. Sounds to my like your weaseling your way out of the bet by a technicality. How about you eat a Bull Penis if the Raiders win the Superbowl. Safer bet for you. 😎

  5. Love to feed them to Bill Simmons right now! Plus kick him in the teeth for good measure. What a douche bag and dipshit he is.

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